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What
Mom Taught Me
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MOM taught me TO
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill
each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning!"
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MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that
will come out of the carpet."
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MOM taught me about TIME
TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
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MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's
why."
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MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean
underwear in case you're in an accident."
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MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll
give you something to cry about."
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- MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and
eat your supper!"
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- MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt
on the back of your neck!"
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- MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all
that spinach is finished."
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- MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado
swept through your room."
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- MOM taught me how to solve PHYSICS
PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because
I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
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- MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you
once, I've told you a million times, Don't exaggerate!!!"
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- MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR
MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your
father!"
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- MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do!"
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- And most of all ..... MOM
taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into
this world, and I can take you out."
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