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- JOKES PAGE
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- One Liners
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- These Jokes are just for fun and there is no
purpose to offend anyone person or group thereof.
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Which
sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.
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How
do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
Dogs
hump your leg with their eyes closed.
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How
do you know you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you,
"Let's just be friends."
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Mom's
have Mother's Day.
Father's have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm
Sunday
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Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to
discharge, the better you feel.
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What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
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What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.
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What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo.
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Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people have a chance to
have sex too.
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What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's
mine?"
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What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer
nuts are always under a buck.
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What three two-letter words denote "small"?
"Is it in?"
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Why
does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
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If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do
you have?
Divorce proceedings, most
likely.
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Why
did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
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How can you tell the Irish guy is in the hospital?
He's the one blowing the foam
off of his bedpan
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Where
does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
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What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
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What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast?
They're hiring.
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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
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What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
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Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
the Sex Ed class uses it.
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What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description
of the animal on the front of the cage,
along with a recipe.
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How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
Get another sweet little
80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
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What's the Cuban national anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your
Boat"
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins
"Once upon a time..."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this
shit!"
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