Stuff on T-Shirts

God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends

My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do

So Few Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now

I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going

If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?

(on the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off

What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About

(on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party (on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge

I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian

At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...I Just Can't Remember It All

(Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor

(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah

Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")

Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich

Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money

Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional

IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be

Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law

If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt

If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You

Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

In America , Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take

First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order.

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping